Grief after a sudden loss

When someone close to you dies suddenly, it can leave you feeling shaken, lost, or overwhelmed.

OnTrack is part of your racing family,  we’re here to walk alongside you and there when you need us.

Understanding grief

Grief is a natural response to losing someone you care about. It can affect how you feel, think, move, and cope.

When loss comes suddenly, there’s no time to prepare. You may feel numb, in shock, or completely overwhelmed and frozen. This is all part of grief — and it’s okay.

There’s no “right” way to grieve. You may feel:

• Numb, empty, or in disbelief
• Angry, sad, panicked, or lost
• Confused or unable to focus
• Physically unwell or exhausted

These are normal reactions. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline — it comes in waves. Be kind to yourself.

We all grieve in our own way

Some people cry often. Others don’t cry at all. You might want to talk about it, or you might not be ready.

You may feel:

• Angry, sad, or panicked
• Frozen, tired, or unable to think clearly
• Guilty or confused

Even moments of peace can feel unfamiliar when you’re grieving.

You might find yourself asking ‘why?’ or ‘what now?’ — that’s a natural part of trying to make sense of things.

Grief looks different for everyone

In racing, we’re used to getting on with things, early mornings, tough calls, practical jobs that need doing. When someone dies suddenly, it can turn life upside down. Everyone responds in their own way, and that’s okay.

Some of us are feelers and talkers, we need to cry, talk things through, or be around people who understand. Sharing memories or just having someone sit with you can really help.

Others are thinkers and doers, we focus on the tasks at hand. Organising, sorting gear, checking in on the horses, doing something practical helps us feel steady.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. What matters is giving yourself, and those around you, the space to do it in the way that feels right.

Doing what’s right for you

Grieving can leave you exhausted Be kind to yourself.

It can make a difference to:

• Rest and eat when you can
• Get some fresh air each day
• Avoid alcohol
• Avoid big decisions if you can
• Talk to someone you trust

Some days will be heavier than others. You might want to keep a photo or something meaningful close or just write things down. Do what feels right for you, and take small steps

And if you’re helping others, don’t forget to check in with yourself too. You can’t give your best to others if you’re running on empty.

You’re not alone — we’re here with you

OnTrack is here to listen and help you find the support you need, whether that’s talking things through, connecting you to support groups or services, or simply sharing a coffee with someone who understands.

In racing, we look out for each other.

• If you’re worried about someone but not sure what to say, give us a call — we can help make that conversation a little easier.

• There’s strength in the shared understanding that comes from being part of racing. Even when the words are hard to find, just showing up can mean a lot.

• OnTrack Champions are people from the racing community — your peers. They’re trained to listen, support, and walk alongside you without judgement.  We can connect you with one of your local Champions.

We have printed copies of this resource available for your workplace – please contact the team. For a printable version of this resource, visit our Resources page, or click the image below to download.